Yesterday (9 May 2017) on BBC One snooze-athon The One (brain cell) Show our fearless leader Theresa May finally spoke — addressing her adoring populous (the BBC One Show Producers and Hosts) — alongside a man who she claimed was her husband.

 

The Show also contained a well-placed guide to spotting fake news — it is in this spirit that I would like to offer my own definitive guide to spotting fake news — thus doing my public duty to rid this plague from our otherwise perfectly, fully functioning democratic country.

May’s appearance was a sad and desperate attempt by her to appear as if she’s an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING.

Of course, the appearance was designed to appeal to middle-aged/middle-England and her raving fanbase of elderly people and Daily Mail fundamentalists — you know — people who CAN ACTUALLY bare to sit through the mind-numbing blandness of the One Show without shooting themselves in the head, or reaching for the “Osborne Special” — gram of extra strong cocaine — just to get through the experience.

 

May One Show
May and May on One Show: SCREENSHOT OF THE PM Wrinkling her face up. I don’t want to go full on Daily Mail here — but I feel this pose is quite Symbolic, none the less.

Sitting next to her was her husband — a man. Watching the happy couple pretend to be in love was certainly a sight for sore eyes — especially for me as I was sticking forks into mine just to stay awake.

 

May has generally kept away from the public — for good reason — she has the Hillary Clinton factor (the more people hear, see, or know about her the less they like her.)

 

This is precisely why she refuses to talk to the public — apart from a select “lucky” few at carefully, stage-managed events.

 

She has previously run away from the public on the campaign trail — and is notoriously fearful of ever talking to the people she demands/scares into voting for her.

 

May is about as likable as smallpox — if it was a choice between the two at the ballot box — it would still be a rough decision.

All she can offer is “strong and stable” a phrase which normally would only be used to describe an antique wooden table. And yet still the table would be preferable, as at least it really is “strong and stable”, making it about a gazillion times more truthful than the notorious bare-faced liar known as May.

 

In between this extended fluff-piece (fluffers being extras that give blowjobs between takes to porn stars to keep them going), we were treated to an enlightened segment about the peril of “fake news”.

The BBC  has decided that fake news is a huge problem — especially with young people. Although, no real evidence could be provided for this claim — as usual the BBC — took it upon themselves to teach the gullible children how to spot fake news.

 

sPOT FAKE NEWS — 1
The children were hearded into an old cabin and forced to learn about fake news.
sPOT FAKE NEWS — 3
Could you have more of a trick question? Trump is one of the most incomprehensible people in the world — telling fake Trump from real Trump is almost impossible. I wouldn’t be surprised if real Trump Retweeted fake Trump — unable to tell the difference himself.
sPOT FAKE NEWS — 2
The children learned a lot — mainly what they learned was to trust the BBC. And some cynics say the education system is just brainwashing children into conformity….

Turns out the answer according to the BBC was to trust the establishment media, ie: The BBC.

 

It is in the spirit that I would like to present my own definitive guide to spotting fake news (one of the biggest threats of our time.)

Let’s begin…..it’s complex stuff….so please pay attention.

Step:

  1. Open your internet browser.

  2. Type in the following: WWW.BBC.CO.UK/NEWS

  3. Choose an article (don’t worry it doesn’t matter which one).

  4. Read it carefully.

  5. CONGRATUALTIONS! You’ve now become an expert at spotting fake news!

Whether they be lying about WMD’s in Iraq and sending us into never-ending wars that cause the deaths 100,000’s of innocent people or making up stories about how everyone HATES Jeremy Corbyn or lying about Labour’s financial policy through their corporately funded spokesperson from the IFS — the BBC is the primary place to get your full dose of fake news (even better than this you’re forced to pay for this shit!)

In fact, it would be more surprising to read something actually truthful on the BBC.

You know, with ALL the relevant facts. Not just some that help supports the case they are trying to make — with a tiny amount of counter fact and opinion to give it the illusion of not being bias. But ALL THE FACTS.

It seems like every election the BBC are going to wheel out this fucking fake news BS. They jumped in at the deep end after Trump won the election blaming fake news — which as I said at the time was actually a ruse to try and censor and kill websites like this, or The Canary, or Evolve Politics.

 

A study after the election by Stanford University showed that fake news is unlikely to have been the reason for Trump’s election.

stanford Study Fake News 1stanford Study Fake News 2

Yet, the mainstream media cannot seem to make up its mind about this: on the one hand we have commentariats like Owen Jones saying that social media alone is not enough to get Corbyn elected. Then we have the BBC claiming that fake news (mainly spread through social media) is the reason Trump got elected.

 

Surely then, internet news cannot be both powerful enough to get the president of the US elected, and also so useless that it isn’t enough to get Corbyn elected?

My head hurts from this insane “logic”.

 

The BBC should actually be embarrassed by the fact that they leave so much information out of the “news” they broadcast — yet, they aren’t and won’t ever be.

 

The fact this segment was nestled nicely into the May’s “interview” makes it all the more ironic.

The Tories endless lies — calling Corbyn a “national security threat” and “terrorist sympathizer” and all the other stupid fake news shite they come out with — parroted, endlessly, gleefully in the echo chamber of the BBC and MSM.

Yes, the irony is painful.

The One Show — The Tories — The BBC — all the same thing in the end: propaganda.

Can’t wait until they have Corbyn on.

First question:

Now, Jeremy why do you hate the country, our freedoms, and national security so much?

Followed by:

 

We hear that you have plans to make every single child in the country read Marx’s communist manifesto 8 times EVERY SINGLE day — in the completely impossible event of you (ahahahahahahahahah!) winning on June 8 *sniggers* and beating the most POPULAR BELOVED POLITICIAN on the face of our planet! And her wonderful, caring, loving, husband.

Followed by:

Was it your love for the IRA’s well-known terrorist praiser Gerry Adams that inspired you to grow your Osama bin Laden like beard?

ETC…….

There you have it kids: how to REALLY spot fake news…..

 

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